Toddlers love to feel in charge, even when it drives us up the wall. The truth is, young children have very little autonomy in their day. Adults decide when they eat, when they nap, what they wear, and where they go. So when they do get a chance to choose, they hold onto it tightly  sometimes with both hands.

The good news? You can use that need for control to your advantage.

When you say, “You can hang your coat or put it on the chair until later,” you’ve just given the child a real choice. They feel capable, respected, and part of the routine. That sense of control within structure often stops power struggles before they even start.

Choice giving isn’t about letting children run the show. It’s about helping them practise decision-making in ways that fit their age and stage. Each small choice builds confidence, independence, and cooperation.

Instead of “Sit down right now,” try,
“You can sit on the carpet or at the table.”
Both choices work for you, and the child feels trusted. Over time, these small moments of choice teach children that their voice matters.